Some losses are loud, obvious, and acknowledged. Others happen in silence, unnoticed by most, yet they shake the very core of who we are.
This blog is born from one such loss—the painful reality of being a dismissed parent. A parent whose love was real, whose presence was once unquestioned, but who now exists on the outskirts of a child’s life.
Writing helps clarify what defies understanding. Accepting the unacceptable becomes a journey, and this space serves as a way to move forward with grace.
Few experiences compare to watching unconditional love be questioned. A child’s decision to rewrite history and cast themselves as a victim can feel deeply unjust. Memories of love, sacrifice, and unwavering presence seem to vanish in favor of a narrative that serves a different purpose. Being blamed for what was never broken or painted as someone unrecognizable creates wounds that cannot always be mended.
Yet truth remains, even when others refuse to see it. Moving forward does not require validation from those unwilling to acknowledge years if sacrifice and love. Strength comes from standing firm in the love given, in the dignity that remains intact, and in the quiet knowledge that time often reveals what was once denied.
Above all, the goal is to love our children unconditionally—even when that means accepting their choice to create distance. Love sometimes demands stepping back even when every instinct says to fight for closeness. One day, our indignant children may understand the depth of what was lost. When that day comes, they will learn what we have known all along—that no one loves you like a mother, that true love includes tolerance and trust, and that time lost can never be regained. What today is so easily dismissed as part of a grand statement is not only their own loss but also a loss for their children—robbing them of family connections, a sense of belonging, and the opportunity to know themselves more fully through the lineage of their family members. A dismissed mother mourns not just the loss of her child’s presence but also the stolen moments, the fractured bonds, and the richness of family ties that our grandchildren deserve—all the love, wisdom, and connection that anchor the next generation in belonging.
Beyond the role of “mother” or “father” exists a whole person. Women existed before motherhood and continue to exist beyond the caregiving. Lives filled with meaning, purpose, and growth deserve to be honored. Apologizing for having an identity beyond parenting is unnecessary. Forgetting that identity diminishes the richness of what remains.
This blog is not just one story—it is a space for others to share experiences, reflections, and the ways they navigate family fractures and misrepresentation. For those who have been unheard, misunderstood, or erased from their own family narrative, this space offers connection, understanding and support.
Even in the absence, love remains. Choosing to stand in truth is where healing begins.
The Dismissed Parent 